At least that is how I feel today!
Once again, I have gone days without posting. I’m really sucking at this ‘daily’ blog thing. But like before, I’ve had a few very rough days. My main reasons why I don’t post during those times are because…
1. I am just not a pleasant person to be around, at all! I turn into debbie downer on crack. Actually, crack would probably have improved my mood!
2. I lose my desire to write. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I like to lace most of my writing with a good amount of humor. Of course, we are talking my humor so it usually has a bit of a bite to it and maybe a dash of sarcasm.
To be brutally honest with you, this battling depression shit is for the birds. But it really does go hand in hand with being a Fatty McFatter!
For those of you out there that have never had to deal with depression, thank your lucky stars. No, seriously… get your ass outside and go thank a star or two… Maybe you should thank more, cuz the ones you are thanking might just be the light that takes millions of years to reach us and the star is already completely dead just like my soul!!! Or not.
So anyway…. I really need to get on here every day, depressed or not. We cannot be funny all the time, right? Right??? Of course not. And now that I’m posting all of these wonderfully private things on line for the world to see, I actually feel like I’m getting more and more support.
I wrote my first blog only 20 days ago and according to my stats, I’ve have over 1800 views. I know that’s nothing compared to the huge blogs out there getting millions of views a day, but to me… to me that is so awesome and motivating. And if you know anything about depression, you will know that your motivation to do anything except eat goes right out the window!
So today I stand before you (I’m actually sitting, but you get my drift) a humble woman… hahaha… sorry. I couldn’t even think that without cracking myself up. Not because I’m not humble. I’m actually pretty humble when it comes to a lot of things. I’m laughing at my own cheesiness. Chester cheetah is full of shit, it is easy being cheesy!
Ok… enough fooling around. Time to confess…. I’m only down 5 pounds over all. So as of today, Day 20 of this diet, I have only lost 5 pounds. And I am so unhappy about this. But I am not going to dwell on it. That’s what keeps getting me here… Right back to that first sabotage I talked about, Frustration. It is so easy to just say screw it and eat those nachos or that cookie. And by now, I’m sure an order of french fries aren’t going to hurt anything… Wrong! It hurts everything.
So eating when you’re depressed has about the same effect as drinking alcohol. It just makes you even more depressed and feel even worse about yourself. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
You know what I need? I good swift kick in the ass, as my father would say. I need to pull myself up and snap outta this funk. Because if there is one thing I’ve learned through my almost 46 years, it’s that no one is going to do this for you. So no more whinny little bitch… I got this!
So today I am going to end this on a good note. I’ve been working on my website and I’m hoping that this is going to be my last blog that I write on blogger. After today, my blogs should all be listed on… drum roll….
Yes, that’s right folks! If you go there right now, you won’t see much of anything. But tomorrow I should be able to post my blog and throw in some pictures and maybe I will even get to writing an about me page. But let’s not get carried away.
But to let you all know, I have gone back to eating vegan. At least for the time being. I will eventually introduce some dairy and probably fish back into my diet. For a while I was a Pescatarian. Which is someone who does not eat meat, but does eat fish and seafood. That choice for me is mostly just out of preference. I would much rather eat fish or seafood over chicken, beef or pork.
I am also still avoiding sugar, salt and oils. I have not cut them out 100%, but I have made a very large impact on my eating habits. So let’s get busy getting life back on track!
and thanks for being there!